Tommy Is Spying On All Of Us

In 2001, Tommy Girl filed a lawsuit against the then-editor of Bold magazine Michael David Sapir for claiming to have a video of Tommy partaking in a little gay stuff with another dude (just another home movie). The lawsuit was settled and Michael David issued a statement saying he lied about the tape. Well, 8 years later and now it’s Michael David’s turn to sue. Radar says that Michael David is suing Tommy Girl for spying on him by tapping his phone line. Michael David wants at least $5 million from Tommy Girl’s lube fund.

In the court documents, Michael David claims that during the 2001 lawsuit, TG hired Anthony Pellicano, the sleazy P.I. who was convicted of wiretapping last year, to tappity tap tap his phone line.

You know Tommy Girl tapped Michael David’s phone himself. Tommy jumps at any chance to slip on his custom-made Emma Peel catsuit. Michael David probably realized something in the milk wasn’t clean when he noticed that all his dirty underwear was gone and that someone left a Shirley Bassey disc in his CD player.

I think it’s safe to assume that Tommy Girl and his band of merry aliens have tapped all of our phone lines. This is why we should go back to communicating like we did when we were kids. We knew what was up back then. We only had conversations through soup cans, fake Barbie rotary phones, interpretive dance and booger notes. You can’t tap any of that shit!