Here’s a video of Jessica Simpson’s ear having intercourse with a flaming candle while a gay villain (Ken Paves?) cackles in the background. The obvious explanation for this is that Jessica is just partaking in a little ear candling to get all the wax out. But personally, I think the gay villain played a joke on her dumb ass by telling her this is the quickest way to warm up your brain after it freezes from downing a Slurpee too fast. You know the gay villain is getting off on Jessica moaning in pain like she’s getting fisted by this guy without lube.
Actually, maybe this is a viral video for Papa John’s. Now we know what the secret ingredient in their dipping sauce is.