Vadge And George Clooney’s Shit Date

Before Vadge adopted/purchased Baby Jesus, and right after her venus fly snatch spit out Guy Ritchie’s nutsack, she went out on a date with cocktail waitress aficionado George Clooney. It turned out to be the date that hell barfed up. That’s what the Daily Star (via Digital Spy) says anyway. Yeah, it sounds like meth balls were on the menu at the Daily Star holiday party.

A source (aka the internet who is also a skilled writer of fan fiction) said this, “George figured Madonnais a smart, accomplished woman, so why not give it a try? They went out for dinner in New York but it turned out really bad. She kept trying to make jokes that weren’t at all funny the entire time and didn’t want to have a real conversation. He couldn’t wait to get out of there.”

Let’s just say this didn’t happen in someone’s acid trip, and it happened in real life. Who would ever put those two together? In order to date George, you have to be a gold medalist at body shots and a master at the art of drunkenly falling off of banquettes while dancing. And in order to date Vadge, you have to be okay with not having fun, because that ho could suck the party out of a Jersey Shore episode.

Besides, can you imagine these two bumping it? Vadge would rip his shit up! It would be like He-Man and Howdy Doody getting it on. Vadge’s strap-on would turn George’s no-no hole into a no longer hole.