Ivana Trump Officially Dumped Her Fourth Husband

Ivana Trump split from her fourth husband Rossano Rubicondi (pronounced: Just Hittin’ That Prune Poon For the Cash) last year, but she barely filed for divorce from him yesterday in NYC. Ivana and Rossano dated for six years before making it legal in 2008. They quit each other a few months later after Rossano was caught licking on a vagina not belonging to Ivana while he filmed Celebrity Survivor in Italy. Although, Ivana claims that distance killed the marriage, not another snatch.

Ivana said this shit to Page Six: “Rossano has been living and working in Italy for most of the last two years. Given my extensive business interests around the globe, it has become increasingly difficult for us to find time together . . . With sadness . . . I say it is time to move on . . . I wish Rossano well!”

Extensive business interests around the globe?!!!! File that one away for use at a later date. Seriously, the next time you want to send your full-time fuck partner to the recycle bin, just tell them that it’s not going to work out “given your extensive business interests around the globe.” Basically, that just means you want to sample different kinds of international peen before settling down with just one.

And put on your slickers, because Peta is going to flour bomb that picture in 3..2..