Elin To Hit Tiger With Divorce Papers

December 17, 2009 / Posted by:

A source close to Elin Nordegren tells ABC News that she is definitely going to shower Tiger Woods with divorce papers.

Elin, who hasn’t been wearing her wedding ring lately, has been talking to a divorce lawyer in Los Angeles. The source added that Elin is waiting for the right time to file for divorce, “She’s going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything.

We’re going to need a bigger table. We’re also going to need a bigger file to hold all the documents detailing the every move of Tiger’s peen. Every time another mistress whore comes forward, Tiger’s checking account sheds another tear. Elin really doesn’t play, and you know she’s going to take an iron to his fortune. But in the meantime….

People says that Elin is shitting in Tiger’s Christmas stocking by taking the kids to Sweden for the holidays. Elin was originally going to travel to Sweden in January, but those plans have been moved up. Some source said, “Two stewardesses and one pilot are in Sweden with the plane now getting it ready to come pick them up.”

I hope this doesn’t mean that Elin won’t pull an Angel Bassett in Waiting to Exhale by burning all of Tiger’s shit on the front lawn. I’ve been patiently waiting for that scene to happen.

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