Kourtney Kardashian Is A Mother

December 14, 2009 / Posted by:

There’s good news and horrific news. The good news it that we no longer have to hear every single gory detail about Kourtney Kardashian’s adventures in pregnancy. The horrific news is that we now have to hear about her adventures in baby raising, because E! Online says that Kourtney and her asshole boyfriend Scott Disick are now parents to a baby boy. Kourtney’s spokesbitch made the announcement just one hour after she gave birth. Doing it like a true famewhore does.

Kourtney and Scott’s new son weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces and he now goes by the name Mason Dash Disick. Or “You Poor Thing” to the rest of us. Dash isn’t only the ham in Kourtney’s last name, but it’s also the name of the clothing store she owns with her family.

I really feel for Baby Dash Dick Stick. Kourtney is a dumb fuck, and Scott has roofie eyes, so I can’t even imagine dealing with those two on a daily basis.

Baby Dash is probably trying to find a way to switch himself with a Baby Alive doll. If you see Kourtney on the cover of Life & Style with a Baby Alive, don’t say SHIT. For the sake of Baby Dash’s sanity, just let her believe!

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