Confessions Of A Broken Bank Account

December 14, 2009 / Posted by:

White Oprah is trying to keep the Mike’s Hard Lemonade on the table by taking a page out of Gary Coleman’s book. Over on the Lohan’s official broke down website (which was designed by Nana Lohan after she sniffed too much acrylic glue), White Oprah is selling the family’s second-hand shit to the highest bidder.

Now is your chance to own a pair of Juicy Couture jeans (complete with two kinds of skidmarks) once worn by one of the Lohans for the bottom bitch price of $150. You can also get a Nordstrom bag for $100, a pair of Converse for $35 and a Chloe dress for $600. That’s in Lohan dollars. In real-life currency that translates into $WAYTOOFUCKINGMUCHFORTHATSHITCRAP.

However, if you do buy a piece of the Lohan dynasty there’s a good chance you will find half of an Adderall pill or a Ziploc bag covered in coke residue in one of the pockets. That’s a good thing!

On the other hand, there’s also a good chance that White Oprah is selling hot merchandise. So if you wear this crap out in a public, someone will probably claim you snatched it from them and call 911 on your ass. That’s a bad thing!

It’s a gamble.

via Page Six

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