India’s New Savior Returns To America

December 13, 2009 / Posted by:

The Patron Saint of 8-Balls, Mother LiLo, swept into LAX yesterday after returning from her 10-second trip to India, where she has already made enemies.

LiLo went to India to shoot a documentary with the BBC on child trafficking. She knows all about this since she was raised by the two of the biggest child traffickers in the US.

About 5 hours after she arrived in India, LiLo Tweeted that she had saved the lives of 40 children in just one day. LiLo later queefed on her Twatter: “Focusing on celebrities and lies is so disconcerting, when we can be changing the world one child at a time…. hope everyone can see that.”

It’s true that a bunch of kids in India were saved that day. Saved from looking at LiLo’s haggard face, because she wasn’t even in the country at the time the police raided several child slave shops Bitch lied about saving children just so she could get a little publicity. White Oprah’s heart just beamed for the first time DECADES.

One of India’s leading social activists, a man who goes by the singular name of Bhuwan, wants to fist LiLo in the teeth for taking credit for the raid. Bhuwan told The Telegraph that it took 2 months to plan the raid and he didn’t appreciate LiLo claiming that she saved the world in the time it takes her nose to suck up a line. He added, “She was not even in the country when this raid happened. We’ll be complaining to the BBC and talking to our lawyers … Would Lohan know where these workshops are?”

A spokesbitch for the BBC issued this statement regarding the allegations that LiLo lied lied LIED: “”Lindsay Lohan has just completed filming in India for a BBC Three project on child trafficking. We would like to stress that she did not say she was present at the raid, this is a misinterpretation. She was merely referring to a raid that happened connected to child trafficking – the subject of the programme.”

If I was the spokeswhore of the BBC, I would’ve taken five steps away from LiLo and issued this simple statement: “Harpo, who dis woman?

Here’s more of LiarLo at LAX yesterday proving that she was in India by showing off the spicy curry ass lips on her face.

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