Snooki Is Just Having Fun And Sucking On Pickles!

The Italian Whatever National Whatever Organization is all over Jersey Whores, because they seem to think that the show paints Italians in a shitty light. This makes sense, because we all know all Italians act like the guidos and guidettes of Jersey Shore. Sophia Loren obviously spends her nights hot tubbin’ in a Frederick’s thong after barfing out Bacardi into a trash can outside of a club called Headlines. We all know this.

But seriously, Jersey Shore’s very own Snooki (or “Snooooookeh” as Vampire Beehl calls her) addressed the controversy on Wendy Williams today. The gremlin Xtina broke it down like this:

“The Italian, whatever, national, whatever their organization is, they don’t understand that ‘guidos’ and ‘guidettes’ are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves. hey are old-fashioned. They don’t know that; they think it’s offensive, because maybe in their time it was offensive, but now it’s kind of a compliment. So they don’t understand that and that is what we are trying to say. They are way overreacting to the show. We’re 22 to 29 just having fun at the shore. They are just taking it way out of proportion.”

Having fun AND bringing the art of pickle slurping back:

After last night’s episode, I re-played Snooki’s pickle sucking scene at least a dozen times. Snooki sucked on that pickle like its pores were ejaculating Zima. All we really need in life is a “Porn Star in Training” trucker hat and a pickle. I wish it was October again, because this right here would’ve been my Halloween costume.

And Snickerdoodle really needs to find some time in her busy schedule to teach Mariah from The Maury Povich Show (below) that pickles are friendly. Snooki is The Pickle Whisperer.

(Pickle GIF via Four Four)