Hugh Hefner’s former wet nurse Kendra Wilkinson gave birth via c-section to a boy baby early this morning after being in labor for over a day. Obviously, Kendra’s baby realized it was safer in there than it is out here.
Kendra and her husband Hank Baskett named their brand new baby friend Hank Baskett IV. HB4 weighed in at 9 pounds and 5 ounces. Actually, maybe labor took so long because HB4’s fatty fat fat ass couldn’t fit through the womb door. Does ALLI make baby formula?
HB4 started stealing the earth’s oxygen from all of us at 12:37am in Indianapolis. 13 minutes later, E! Online (who camped out in Kendra’s vagina minutes before the birth) posted this statement from Kendra and Hank: “We’re happy and healthy and enjoying every second with little Hank.”
I know some of you might be questioning Kendra’s skills as a mother since HB4 probably has a higher IQ than her. But Kendra did live with Hugh Hefner for a while, so I’m sure she’s already a pro at wiping up butt slobber, making sense of incoherent mumbling and coming up with creative ways to get a spoon full of carrot diarrhea into a mouth hole.