Jennifer Aniston Is Adam Sandler’s Pretend Wife
This pretty much confirms that Jennifer Aniston’s agent is actually Maddox in disguise, because she is in talks to star in yet another romantic comedy that makes it so much easier for all of us to joke about her lonely miserable spinster ways. And what’s even worse is that she’s done this all before.
The Hollywood Reporter says that Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler are circling around a project called The Pretend Wife. They are hoping to release this wreck on February 11, 2011. The script “is currently under wraps,” but after a 2-second Google search I think I may have found the plot. This is the synopsis from a novel with the same name which was released this past June:
For Gwen Merchant, love has always been doled out in little packets—from her father, a marine biologist who buried himself in work after her mother’s death; and from her husband, Peter, who’s always been respectable and safe. But when an old college boyfriend, the irrepressible Elliot Hull, invites himself back into Gwen’s life, she starts to remember a time when love was an ocean.
What does Elliot want? In fact, he has a rather surprising proposition: he wants Gwen to become his wife. His pretend wife. Just for a few days. To accompany him to his family’s lake house for the weekend so that he can fulfill his dying mother’s last wish. Reluctantly Gwen agrees to play along—with her husband Peter’s full support. It’s just one weekend—what harm could come of it?
But as Gwen is drawn into Elliot’s quirky, wonderful family—his astonishingly wise and open mother, his warm and welcoming sister, and his adorable, precocious niece—she starts questioning everything she’s ever expected from love. And as she begins to uncover a few secrets about her own family, it suddenly looks like a pretend relationship just might turn out to be the most real thing she’s ever known.
A barf covered Valentine candy heart. Someone needs to tap Jennifer’s culo with the poster from PICTURE PERFECT! The Pretend Wife is Picture Perfect’s long-lost conjoined twin. And this is almost like Adam Sandler’s I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry but with an extra vagina.
And Jennifer’s Brad Pitt real groom doll is probably thinking to itself, “Now this bitch will know how I feel.”