Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 8, 2009 / Posted by:

Dream Phone, the hot electronic telephone game from the early 90s! This shit right here. You know, when I was a tween back in the olden times, I used to play this shit with my friends. But instead of looking for a dream boy, I told them I was just looking for a “friend.” Uh huh. I’m sure they didn’t suspect a thing when they saw me licking the dream boy cards with my asshole. Not at all.

Anyway, in Dream Phone, you had to guess who your dream dude was based on clues you would get from this janky ass gay phone. If you guessed correctly, the dude would take your hand and you’d skip off to the nearest Orange Julius to celebrate your love. If you didn’t guess correctly, you got your heartbroken.

If this game existed today, it would be called Dream Text. In order to win, you’d have to send your dude pictures of your titties while making a duckface. If you lost, you’d get the number to Jennifer Aniston’s heartbreak hotline. And Chris Hansen would make a cameo somewhere in there.

Below is the original commercial. From now on, I’m only going to answer my phone by saying, “HELLO HUNK!

(For Susan & Tiffany)

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