Will All Of Tiger’s Mistresses Please Stand Up?

December 5, 2009 / Posted by:

WE’RE ALL STANDING! So, TMZ is saying that a fourth ho is about to step onto the stage and claim that she had a 2-year-long affair with Tiger Woods, which started in 2004 (the year he got married to Elin) when she was 20. The alleged mistress whore is from Orlando, FL and met Tiger while she was working as a cocktail waitress. She has already hired a lawyer. AND….

Radar reports that three other trollops are waiting in the wings to declare that they also rubbed their bits all over Tiger at one point in their lives. Two of them are looking to sell their stories to the highest bidder. The other one, Las Vegas model Jamie Jungers (that’s Juggers if you’re Tiger), will tell her tale in a British tabloid today.

This brings the Tiger Woods mistress whore tally to 7…and counting. At this point, they should just start a union.

Tiger should just team up with IRS and send out a $100,000 credit to anyone who checks the box labeled, “I was one of Tiger Woods’ mistress whores,” on their tax forms. Maybe that will stop some whores from running off to tell their story to anyone who will cut them a cashiers check.

And this just confirms that all of us have wasted our lives. Right after high school, we should’ve moved to Vegas and become cocktail waitresses. There’s a 99.9% chance that either Tiger Woods or George Clooney would’ve put us on payroll.

UPDATE: Make that 8 mistress whores. The Sun claims that Tiger took his illegal fuckery overseas and banged a British presenter a few years ago. Let Tiger’s parade of pussy commence!

(Image via Reuters)

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