This Has Gone Too Far

December 4, 2009 / Posted by:

Daniel Edwards, the evil artiste who brought us such terrifying works of art like St. Angie Breastfeeding and Brit Brit Humping On A Dead Bear, has once again used the holy one as inspiration. Daniel’s latest work is called “Brangelina Forever.” More like Barfalotta Forever.

Daniel worked on the piece with fellow artist Xvala. It is currently being showcased in a 4,000 square foot home in Oklahoma City called “The Brangelina.” The home was designed by Xvala.

Xvala has installed the sculpture in the ceiling of the master bedroom to inspire “sexual healing for the room’s occupants.”

Xvala is the grand dame of Brangaloonies, because the statute is embedded with crushed glass containing Brad and Angie’s DNA obtained from wine glasses from which they drank while reportedly celebrating the anniversary of their first meeting on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Xvala and his publicist released this statement, which might make you want to crawl back into bed and bawl for our future: “The ‘Brangelina’ sculpture is destined to exist forever, the way Brad and Angie’s relationship will persist in peoples’ memories. Theirs is the Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton romance of our time. I believe every home in America should become an ‘honorary home’ to our Superstars, in order to connect celebrities and regular people in spirit.

Xvala must be closely related to Xenu, because this bitch is the epitome of FUCKED UP CRAZY! For the sake of his friends and family, I hope this trick is just telling jokes. When you outdo Twitards, it’s time to retreat to the nearest padded room.

When was the last time Brad Pitt looked like that?! If they were going to do this, they could’ve at least made it more realistic. Xvala should’ve pulled a grandma off the street, shaved her muff off, dipped it in holy water and then pasted it on Brad’s chin. And why did that Disney Princess Bird eat St. Angie’s nipples off?

You know every Brangaloonie is going to Photoshop their head onto that bird’s body and send this out as their Christmas card. If you get one in the mail, burn it immediately! That shit might be contagious.

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