235-year-old Ronnie Wood (no relation to Tiger) of the Rolling Stones was arrested in London last night after he was accused of beating on his 20-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova. CHILD ABUSE!
Ronnie’s rep confirmed that he was arrested, but wouldn’t say anything else. A police spokesperson released this statement to the BBC: “We can confirm that a 62-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault in connection with a domestic incident.”
He has reportedly been released on bail and will have to answer to the charges in court next month.
Ronnie and Ekaterina started sharing diapers about a year ago when he was still married to his wife of 25 years. Ronnie left his wife for Ekaterina and the two have been shacking up ever since.
Ronnie is getting too old for all of this. Pepaw should be sitting comfortably in a rocking chair, sipping on his hot cider and catching up on his stories on TV. Ronnie should not be throwing babies around like he’s Mo’Nique in Precious. He will not get an Oscar for that. Ronnie, let go of the baby, grab the bong and simmer down. You might break a hip or something.