Hulk Hogan Will Never Learn

December 3, 2009 / Posted by:

It was just four months ago that Hulk and Linda Hogan’s divorce became final. In the end, their nasty divorce war left Hulk with a raw asshole, chewed off nipples and a weepy checking account. Hulk must have the memory of a roid pimple, because he’s about to walk down the aisle again. The NYDN says that Hulk is engaged to his girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel.

Hulk’s brain is as fried as his hair and his girlfriend looks like she’s cut from the same cloth as his daughter, so there’s a good chance he accidentally proposed to the wrong orange linebacker. But he didn’t, because TMZ caught up Hulk and Jennifer at LAX on Tuesday. Jennifer showed off her new ring, and Hulk said, “That could be the new Mrs. Hogan.

If I was Jennifer, I’d hire Elin Nordegren as my prenup specialist. Because Jennifer better get paid a Woods-worth for rubbing her parts all over Hulk’s rotisserie chicken body. Seriously, you should never suck on jerky peen like that for nothing!

And if I was Brooke, I’d constantly walk around with a big sign over my titties that read: “STOP: I’m Your Daughter.”

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