But He’ll Always Be Baby Gee-Zus To Me

November 30, 2009 / Posted by:

Baby Jesus speaks! No, he really does. The New York Times got to hear him speak actual words for a fluffy profile piece they did on him which ran this past weekend. Cut them some shit, it was Thanksgiving weekend.

In the way-too-long article, we learn that Vadge doesn’t give her Brazilian boy toy a crisp $5 bill every morning before he goes to school. Baby Jesus doesn’t need it, because apparently he’s some superstar DJ who makes $15,000 for a 90-minute set. We’re all banging the wrong bitch.

And Baby Jesus also schooled us stupid Americans on the correct way to say his name. It’s not pronounced “Gee-zus” or “Hay-soos.” Jesus Luz says his full name is pronounced “Zhay-ZOOSE. Loose.” But even Vadge doesn’t care about that. Shit, I doubt she knows his name. Whenever she needs him, she just rings the supper bell and opens up her legs. No names needed!

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >