Tiger Woods Has Refined Tastes

November 29, 2009 / Posted by:

When Kobe Bryant was accused of touching parts not belonging to Vanessa Bryant, he immediately apologized to his wife by making her finger sparkle like she just gave RPattz a prostate exam. It’s the only type of apology a true gold digger will accept. So it’s no surprise that Tiger Woods knows he needs to go diamond mining if he wants his wife Elin Nordegren to forgive his possibly cheating ass.

TMZ says that during a phone conversation with some friend, Tiger said that his wife had “gone ghetto” on him and that he had “to run to Zales to get a ‘Kobe Special.‘”

Yes, a kiss begins with Kay. And Tiger DIDN’T GO TO JARED. But everyone knows that Zales is the finest jooree store in the mall, so Tiger made a wise choice. Only the best for Elin.

My cholita cousin agrees. When her man proposed to her with a garnet (GARNET!!!) ring he bought at Walmart, her response was, “Uh. Why didn’t he go to Zales?” Exactly.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >