Tiger Woods was rushed to the hospital earlier this morning after his Escalade hit a fire hydrant outside of his neighbor’s house in Isleworth, FL. The Florida Highway Patrol said that Tiger’s injuries were serious.
The FHP also told the Orlando Sentinel that after Tiger’s SUV hit the fire hydrant it hit a tree nearby. They believe Tiger was driving under 33mph, because the Escalade’s air bags didn’t inflate. They also said that booze didn’t play a part in the crash. They wouldn’t say if anybody else was in the car with Tiger.
UPDATE: This is confusing. MSNBC just said that charges are pending, but it’s not known who would face charges since the crash was not booze-related. My guess is that the fire hydrant will find itself with a court date very soon. Also, WESH.com reports that Tiger’s injuries include “facial lacerations.”
UPDATE II: Tiger’s rep says that he was involved in a minor car accident and was released from the hospital in good condition after being treated for his injuries. So now it’s safe for you to make those jokes about how he must have been having text fellatio with his mistress whore right before he ran into that annoying fire hydrant.