Obama Is The New Aniston

November 24, 2009 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston can stop spending her nights rehearsing for the impending dance-off with St. Angelina, because it looks like the holy one has a new arch rival she’s throwing the shank eye at. According to UsWeekly, St. Angie would rather make Maddox give her “The Rachel Cut” while watching Leprechaun on a loop than vote for Obama.

A source (aka Jon Voight after sucking up a bunch of helium) said these fighting words, “She hates him. She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise. Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors.

Even though St. Angie has sucked the hotness out of Brad Pitt, she still isn’t powerful enough to suck out his love for Obama. The source went on to say, “They get in nasty arguments all the time about it. She doesn’t respect Brad when it comes to politics, but, in the end, this won’t tear them apart.

Meanwhile, I’m sure Obama is crying into his bowl of cookie dough and thinking to himself, “What Angelina did was very uncool.” But that won’t keep him from texting Brad and secretly meeting him in the bars of NYC hotels! However, Obama should ask Aniston who her dance coach is, because that dance-off with Angie can happen any day now. Maddox is itching to press play on the boombox.

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