From Crackhead To Plastichead

Amy Wino is not content with her Richard Heene-approved titty balls and matching lips, because she’s about to go under the knife again. No, Wino is not going to get those rumored ass implants just yet. Apparently, Wino wants to get her nose rotated and lifted first.

One of Wino’s friends has told The Mirror that she’s already booked her nose job for January. Everyone is trying to tell not to mess with her nose, but Wino isn’t hearing it. The friend said, “Amy’s become totally obsessed with surgery since her boob job. She wants her nose made smaller to fit with her small face as she hates the fact her nose is so big and she doesn’t like the shape. Amy says she can barely look in the mirror at the moment as she hates it so much. She’s booked in for January but is pushing to get it done sooner. Her family are dead-set against it and her brother has gone mad at her saying it will ruin her whole look and she will become unrecognisable. They’re trying to talk her out of it but Amy’s having none of it.”

Um. Maybe if Wino washes off those caca splatters from her nose and steps away from the brown Sharpie, she’ll like her schnoz a whole lot more. Because once the doctor slices into her nose, there is no going back! I mean, the inside of her nose probably looks like the bottom of Lindsay Lohan’s purse. There’s a meth lab in the left nostril and a cocaine plantation in the right. And her nose cartilage busted out of there a long time ago. Wino’s nose is being held up by a couple of toothpicks. It’s best that she just leaves that wreck in peace!

And when Mitch Wino was asked about his daughter possibly getting a nose job, he answered, “Nose? What nose? Have you gotten a look at her tits?!” Okay, Mitch Wino didn’t say that, but you know he thought that.