Here’s the second trailer for MTV’s upcoming masterpiece Jersey Shore (aka The Douchebag Diaries), and December 3rd can’t come soon enough. Not only are the stars of this shit built like Greek Gods (after being doused in colonic fluid and filled with Silly Putty), but they are true poets. Below are the top 6 quotes from the trailer that will make your brain tingle and your soul go weak. Okay, these are all the quotes from the trailer. They are that poetic.
“There’s no way I’m going to Jersey without my mangel.”
“I am like a praying mantis. After I have sex with a guy I will rip their head off.”
“My abs are so ripped up it’s called ‘the situation.’”
“You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo, pretty much, without his shirt off?”
“I’m the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby”
“I’m a bartender. I do, you know, great things.”
Megan Fox totally has some competition.