The Church Of Sugartits Is Invitation Only

At Mel Gibson’s Holy Family Chapel in Agoura Hills, CA, he is God, Jesus and all of the saints rolled into one. What Mel says goes. That means Mel gets to pick and choose who sits next to his drunk ass in the pews.

Radar Online reports that Mel is making all new parishioners fill out an application and go through a security check before he offers you an invitation to join his church. Apparently, Mel is paranoid about hos blabbing about his holy ramblings to the media.

The one-page application states that it “must be accepted by security in order to gain admittance” and that it’s “not open for negotiation by guests/attendees.” It also adds that membership can be revoked at any time for any reason.

You know, I kind of understand why Mel is pulling this fuckery. It’s a privilege to “pray” with Mel. His church is probably a non-stop party and who doesn’t get tingly for a party? The holy water is spiked with top-shelf vodka, the communion wafers have been soaked in rum, and Jesus’ blood comes in your choice of white, red or sparkling wine.

And the seventh commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,” has been replaced with, “Thou Shalt Party With Your Peen Out.” So I totally see where Mel is coming from.