RiRi has found a new piece that will kiss every inch of her infinityhead (which Scientists have proven takes around 8.3 hours total) while cuddling on a cold winter’s night. According to Gatecrasher, that piece is actor Tristan Wilds. Tristan Wilds does sound like the name of an Eastern European power bottom porn star, but he’s actually a cast member on the new 90210.
The two, who have been secretly dating for a quick minute, acted all couple-like at a party she threw last weekend. A source said, “She likes him a lot, and it shows. From the moment he walked into her party, Rihanna lit up. They’ll keep in touch while she’s away.”
While I understand that RiRi needs a bitch to fiddle with her alien labia now and again, she really needs to stay away from all BOW TIES. If a man is wearing a bow tie without a tuxedo, he’s either a dick taster, an old timey piano player/child toucher or a lady beater.
Besides, it’s hard to take a dude seriously when he keeps the “Prada” sticker on his eyeglasses.