If Only This Was Real

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

Don’t go running through the streets shouting “FINALLY! PRAISE JESUS” just yet, because this shit is faker than Brooke Hogan’s rubber vagina. Sorry to break your heart like that.

At a press conference for Hulkmania in Australia, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair got into a brawl which ended in tomato sauce being shed. Bitches are so dramatic.

Either the McDonald’s ketchup packet hidden under Hulk’s bandanna popped at the right time or he pulled a Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler by taking a razor to his head. Bitch should’ve taken a razor to that peroxide weave of fug instead.

In real-life, Hulk could destroy Ric just by flashing one of his roidy-filled veins at him. Shit, I think most of us could win in a battle against Ric. Look at that pepaw! All we would have to do is distract him by throwing a warm compress in the corner or dangle a bag of Metamucil chips in front of him.

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