If Only This Was Real
Don’t go running through the streets shouting “FINALLY! PRAISE JESUS” just yet, because this shit is faker than Brooke Hogan’s rubber vagina. Sorry to break your heart like that.
At a press conference for Hulkmania in Australia, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair got into a brawl which ended in tomato sauce being shed. Bitches are so dramatic.
Either the McDonald’s ketchup packet hidden under Hulk’s bandanna popped at the right time or he pulled a Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler by taking a razor to his head. Bitch should’ve taken a razor to that peroxide weave of fug instead.
In real-life, Hulk could destroy Ric just by flashing one of his roidy-filled veins at him. Shit, I think most of us could win in a battle against Ric. Look at that pepaw! All we would have to do is distract him by throwing a warm compress in the corner or dangle a bag of Metamucil chips in front of him.