Adriana Lima Is A Mother

November 16, 2009 / Posted by:

Adriana Lima and her husband, basketball player Marko Jaric, have a brand new baby friend (of the female variety). Adriana’s spokeswhore confirmed to People that she gave birth to a girl in NYC last night, “Adriana and Marko are thrilled to announce they had a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric. Mother, father and baby are all doing well.

I’m sure that as soon as she popped out her baby, her stomach went flat, her titties jumped for heaven and she let out a long butt hum (models don’t fart) that caused her ass to shrink. Bitch will be back in a bikini by this weekend.

And I think we’re all wondering the same thing: Does Valentina look like her mother, or does she have her father’s marble eyes? If it’s the latter, let’s just tell her that her lil’ eyes love her nose so much that they always want to be together. And if that doesn’t work, we can tell her that when she grows up she can play the real-life Doug in a movie.

We’re all awful people.

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