While Michael Lohan continues to pull secret recorded audio tapes out of his ass (a trick he learned in prison), White Oprah has ordered her attorneys, The Law Offices of Harvey Birdman, to stomp over to the Nassau County District Attorney’s office. White Oprah believes that Michael Lohan broke a protective order by recording their telephone conversations.
TMZ reports that in 2005, a judge granted White Oprah a protective order against Michael Lohan, which stated that he cannot contact her by phone or e-mail until 2011. One of the tapes starring White Oprah was recorded in 2008, so Michael obviously said “fuck you” to the order. Michael could be sent back to a prison cell if he’s convicted of shitting on the rules.
Don’t get me wrong (even though I am all kinds of wrong), Michael Lohan should be licking butt sex gravy off of his cellmate’s dick in prison, but what about White Oprah. Didn’t she also bust through that protective order by picking up the phone or dialing Michael’s number? They need to throw White Oprah’s turkey jerky ass into Michael Lohan’s cell. Those two skanks deserve each other. Let them eat each other alive.
Now I have an image of them simultaneously butt munching on each other. Why do I hate myself so much?
And for Michael Lohan’s sake, I hope prison jumpsuits come with fancy turtlenecks.