RPattz Is Dirty

November 10, 2009 / Posted by:

That New Moon shit is almost upon us, which means that the Keeper of the Magical Forest will be doing interview after interview where he’s asked about the unicorn refuge on his head and the several layers of sparkly dirt on his skin.

In an interview with New Magazine (via UsWeekly), RPattz was asked about his personal hygiene. The interviewer probably brought the question up because they couldn’t help but notice the fly nest on his crotch. RPattz answered, “These jeans are a few days old. But the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can’t stand the air around me. I don’t know, my personal hygiene – it’s so disgusting!”

RPattz also talked about how he’s got the Emos, “I don’t think I’m romantic any more. I’m just a bit manic depressive!”

I guess we’d all be depressed too if our nipples holes were crusted shut. But RPattz should cheer up and work with what his body (and not showering for days) has given him! Think of all the amounts of dick butter, ass jelly, nose dingles, taint cream and pit wine he has produced. And think of all the crazed Twitwards who would sell their mother’s organs on the black market in order to buy a small jar of his body barf. RPattz would be happier, because he’d have more money in pocket and thousands of maggots would stop following his ass wherever he went. This is a win/win.

Here’s Purrell’s Most Wanted with the other Twilight kids at a photo call in Paris yesterday.

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