Don’t Drag Heath Ledger Into This!

November 10, 2009 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan was doing down-low sexy times with Heath Ledger right before he died. That’s what White Oprah claims anyway in a yet another taped phone conversation released by the savior of all saviors Michael Lohan. White Oprah is always dropping those names. And the hits just keep coming out of Michael’s swollen ass mouth.

Radar posted the conversation between White Oprah and Michael Lohan. As usual, you don’t hear Michael’s voice and the whole thing was probably edited using the 1999 version of Quicktime on a Mac Clamshell. In the clip, White Oprah burps that Heath Ledger’s death really fucked her daughter up because they were dating at the time, “And she was dating Heath when he died. I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?

White Oprah adds that she’s scared that what happened to Heath Ledger could happen to LiLo, because she can’t control herself around booze and Adderall. White Oprah also believes that LiLo can’t quit her partner in pussy SamRo, because of her problems with addiction, “It’s very easy for a rational person to say. But for an irrational person who has a problem with her DNA and alcohol and Adderall and asthma and every other things she’s got wrong with her.

And there’s a bit that Michael Lohan probably forgot to erase in post-edit, because he was too busy dry humping one of his turtlenecks (you know he has a turtleneck fetish). White Oprah said that whenever LiLo’s at home with her, she’s too scared to sleep by herself, “She cannot be alone. When she sleeps here she sleeps with me… she has fears from being little and what you did to us.

In the next tape, White Oprah will reveal that LiLo was making a record with Michael Jackson at the time of his death. Oh, and right before Billy Mays went off to the giant infomercial in the sky, she wants in talks to be the new face of OxiClean. You know, because she’s such a fan of the Oxies.

What I want to know is, when is Dr. Drew going to produce a family version of Celebrity Rehab for the Lohans? They all need it. Well, all of them except for Nana Lohan. She’s the silent voice of reason in this mess. I just picture her shaking her head while holding her glass of Metamucil.

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