Variety reports that stoner goddess Charlize Theron has dropped out of yet another project (expect baby friend rumors in 3…2..). Charlize was supposed to rub her labia all over Nicole Kidman’s forehead of steel in The Danish Girl, but Fishsticks Paltrow will get that privilege instead. Yes, The Botox Queen and the POOPmeister together on screen. Laxative stocks will drop!
In the movie, Nicky will don a dick to play Danish dude artiste Einar Wagner who made the entire world clutch their pearls after he traded his peen in for a poon. Fishsticks will play his wife and fellow artist Greta Wegener. Here’s the synopsis from Coming Soon:
The film is based on the true story of Danish artists Einar (Kidman) and Greta Wegener (Paltrow). Their marriage took a sharp left turn after Einar stood in for an female model that Greta was set to paint. When their portraits became wildly popular in 1920s Copenhagen, Greta encouraged her husband to adopt the female guise. What began as a harmless game led Einer to a metamorphosis and landmark 1931 operation that shocked the world and threatened their love.
It should be interesting to see how Nicky is going to play a real-life human dude. I mean, she has the wooden face to play Pinocchio, but lately she’s not really believable as a breathing human (see Australia).
And on the next GOOP, Fishy will whip up an organic substitute to Nicky’s favorite poison using her own bitch-flavored venom.