If you haven’t heard from some of your loved ones since around 11pm last night, it’s probably because they are shivering with fear in their closets and chewing on pant bottoms for nourishment after watching the gore fest that was Kim Zolciak’s performance of “Tardy for the Party” on last night’s RHOA reunion (part dose).
You know you live in an “all kinds of wrong” world when the FCC has something to say about Janet Jackson’s nipple, but horrific shit like this ends up on our TV screens. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was not watching yet another alternate ending for Paranormal Activity.
When you make Heidi Montag look like Michael Jackson/Judy Garland/Elvis rolled into one, it’s time to keep your singing voice for shower times only. Actually, scratch that, because bathroom tiles already have a rough deal. Save your singing for the devil.
On a positive note, at least Sheree can cancel her trip to Thailand for that sex age operation, because her dick jumped out of her crotch after this public display of fuckery.
P.S. – Where is the mash-up of “Tardy for the Party” and “Party all the Time” called “Tardy all the Time“?