LiLo’s Got White Oprah’s Back

November 6, 2009 / Posted by:

Pull up a crate and slip on a Hazmat-made mouth mask, because it’s time for another Thanksgiving dinner at the crack house. The menu this time around includes more of the same: Michael Lohan’s bullshit casserole (served with a giant side of delusion) and LiLo’s tears of denial cocktail (which is basically just Red Bell and wet cigarettes).

Yesterday, Michael Lohan continued the non-stop fun by releasing an audio tape of White Oprah talking about how LiLo has punched her out and thrown her out of a car. I’ve already filed that image under: Things to think about when you need your mouth to smile.

LiLo has struck back against Michael and defended her beloved mother on Twitter. LiLo regularly holds her mother’s weave up while she yacks up last night’s party, so of course she’s going to continue to fight her fight. LiLo wrote: “she blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I’d beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did.

Every time LiLo’s updates her Twitter, Michael’s Twatter burps (they’re synced up like that), so he immediately responded to her claims to Page Six:

That’s a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I’m going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies. No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her. Because she’s forsaken everything He’s given her and she’s done nothing but misuse all the gifts she’s given.”

And God is about to take away Michael Lohan’s whoopee cushion man titties if he doesn’t stop throwing around his good name like that. And those are his only gifts.

Here’s White Oprah’s defender leaving a house party in Los Angeles night. No need to call child protective services, because I don’t think that’s a fetus stashed in her womb area. LiLo is just getting creative when it comes where she hides shit she’s snatched from other people’s houses.

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