The first part of RiRi’s interview with the always constipated-faced Diane Sawyer aired on Good Morning America today, and she had a very important message to everyone: “EFF LOVE!”
When speaking about why she went back to Chris Brown after he repeatedly beat her, she said that she was in love. Even when the entire world found out they were the second coming of Ike & Tina, she still went back to him. But RiRi said that she quit him for good when she realized that some girls could get killed for following her example, “Even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say that they won’t kill these girls? These are young girls and I just didn’t realize how much of an impact I had on these girls’ lives until that happened.” RiRi’s advice to these girls out there is to not go back because of love. In fact, she said, “Eff love.” EXACTLY. If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn’t (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
You know, after listening to RiRi speak I realized that she sounds EXACTLY like one of my chola cousins named Cindy (hey girl). It’s uncanny. Who knew that the Bajan accent is the long-lost twin of the Southern California chola accent? Seriously, I was waiting for RiRi to turn to the camera, pop her Bubble Yum gum, and say, “Ay Michael! You pinche babosa!”