Grab everything in your refrigerator’s produce bin and bust your ass to Broadway, because Mop Head is going to clean up the stage in Chicago. A smashed tomato will look so lovely all over her head. WHAT?! She can easily clean it up just by wringing her hair out over a bucket.
People is saying that my arch rival (in my head) CHERYL BURKE was at last night’s of performance of Chicago and is talking to the producers about playing Roxie Hart in the show this winter. Some source added, “It’s always been a dream of Cheryl’s to perform on Broadway. She’s excited to show off her other talents besides being a good dancer. She’s been vocally trained and she has a great voice.”
And I’ve been told that my farts have a pretty vibrato, but that doesn’t mean my asshole should play Roxie Hart in Chicago. Okay, okay, I’ll save my cuntified comments for when I actually hear Mop Head belt one out. Although, my guess is that her voice will cause my finger nails to burst and my ears to shrivel up, so it might be a little difficult sharing my opinion. Besides, everyone knows that when it comes to household cleaning supplies, Swiffer is the one with the voice!
(Thanks to ONTD)