If the first thing you saw in the morning were two paintings of A-Roidy as a Centaur, you’d probably crawl back under your sheets and pray that the end is swift and painless. When A-Roidy wakes up and sees himself as a Centaur, he creams his sheets (smells like pimple jizz, Jeter saliva and protein dust). That’s what one of his exes claims anyway. She told UsWeekly that A-Roidy has two special works of FART of himself hanging over his bed in his boudoir.
She said, “He was so vain. He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure? It was ridiculous.”
This is ridiculous and hilarious at the same time. Dude is like a skeezy pimp character that Krissy Snow dated on Three’s Company.
A-Roidy probably didn’t stop with the paintings either. I’m sure he has satin bed sheets of him as an angel carrying a baby A-rod. And a fur throw made from his pubic hairs. You also know he has those touch lamps from the 80s that feature his face in stained glass. And don’t get me started on his bathroom. Doesn’t an A-Roidy toilet seem so fitting?