Jodie Marsh On Katie Price

England’s finest rose Jodie Marsh put down her fancy tea cup, patted the ends of her mouth with a crisp white napkin and commented on Katie Price’s life to the esteemed magazine Zoo (via Metro). And since Jodie is a refined lady who curtsies when she pees, she was as polite as polite can be when speaking about Harvey’s mother. It’s like Queen Elizabeth herself spoke these words:

“What does Jordan do on a horse? Dressage. Trots around, that’s all she does. She doesn’t jump. She doesn’t do fuck all. She just sits on it, poses and pouts. I started horse riding again recently and I haven’t ridden since I was 14. So I’ve got on it after 17 years, and it’s a beast. I cantered him, galloped him and got over proper jumps.”

Jodie is talking about actual horses, right? Of the SJP variety? Because I was pretty entertained thinking about Katie Price dressing up a dick in satin and parading it around the room while puckering up her lips. Although, she probably does that with Roxanne.

Jodie didn’t end there, she crossed her ankles and demurely placed her hands in her lap before going on about Katie’s skills on the fuck mattress, “She’s not good in bed – she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s as cold as ice, she’s got hardly any friends and she’s thick as shit! I think anyone who wants to be with Jordan is a bit weird in the first place.”

You know, I wasn’t sure until I read this interview with Jodie, but now I can say with confidence that we have found this generation’s Emily Post!

P.S – Real talk. I think Jodie is just a bit jealous because Roxanne didn’t let her lick on his tuck.