I’d Hit It

October 28, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

Meet Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken, and he’s absolutely real. Finally, Mattel has let Ken drop the act and be who he really is: A Florida florist who loves to spend his nights throwing crisp bills on the hairless buttocks of blonde twinks while an Ethel Merman record plays in the background. That bitchy cunt face he’s making is absolutely perfect. He will spit at you with his eyes if your shoes don’t match your purse.

The description alone sounds like it was written by Dwight from The Real Housewives of Atlanta. This is most definitely not dreadful:

“Cool sophistication in breezy Palm Beach! Sporting a dashing jacquard-patterned jacket with a light pink polo shirt and crisp white pants, Ken doll is ready for Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool and a stroll with his little companion. Fashion designed exclusively for the Silkstone Barbie doll body (Ed note: aka Palm Beach Fag Hag Barbie). Includes Ken doll, jacket, pink polo shirt, white shoes, dog with leash, swim trunks and accessories, doll stand and certificate of authenticity. For the adult collector. Order yours today!”

If you throw a little brown hair dye on Sugar Daddy Ken, he can pass for Kevin Spacey Ken too!

VIA The Awl (Thanks Molly)

Tags: I Don't Like Jokes

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