Corey Feldman Is All Yours Now

October 28, 2009 / Posted by:

For the teenager (circa 1989) in you who has always wanted dry hump Dinger from Dream a Little Dream, now’s your chance! Because Corey Feldman and his wife Susannah have decided to wrap their marriage up in a baggy and sell it to Corey Ham (typo and it stays) so that he can chop it up and snort it up his nostrils. Basically, Corey’s wife has filed for The Big D.

E! Online reports that Susannah is blaming “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their break-up. Susannah wants Corey to send her a monthly check for spousal and child support for their 5-year-old son Zen. The two have been married for 7 years, so they should give themselves a pat on the taint, because that’s like 50 years in Hollywood time. However….

They should have known it was not going to last forever when they got married on the set of The Surreal Life in a ceremony officiated by future Cash4Gold spokesman MC Hammer. Everything MC Hammer touches goes bankrupt. Aw.

And expect a The Two Coreys of Love reality show in 3…2…

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