Morrissey Is In The Hospital

Morrissey is in the hospital after he collapsed during one of his shows in Swindon tonight. Witnesses say that Morrissey wasn’t looking too hot when he first took the stage. After he performed his first song “This Charming Man,” he dropped to the ground and was carried off by medical personnel. A little while later, the audience was told that Morrissey had “left the building.” When their asses started booing, the announcer added that Morrissey “was very ill.”

The Telegraph reports that the paramedics were told that a 50-year-old man was having trouble breathing and was unconscious When they arrived, Morrissey was conscious but not feeling well. He was immediately taken to the hospital.

A rep for the hospital issued this statement: “Morrissey has been admitted to the Great Western Hospital. He is being reviewed by the medical staff and his condition is stable.”

Morrissey is currently in the middle of a world tour. He already canceled several dates due to illness.

My gotholita (gotha + cholita) cousin’s sanity depends on Morrissey’s health, so hopefully he’s going to bounce right out of that hospital very soon. Morrissey just needs to put the work on pause, and lay down with some Sleepytime Tea and a movie starring talking animals.