Lindsay Lohan actually peeled herself off the floor before noon this morning (she probably never went to bed) to appear before a judge in Beverly Hills. Blohan was summoned there after the judge learned she might have fucked up her probation by not showing up to an alcohol education class she was supposed to complete. In case you care, she pleaded no contest to two DUIs a little while ago.
Since she didn’t complete the terms of her probation, the judge could have stuck her in a jail cell, but instead decided to give her another chance even though she was 90 minutes late to the hearing. People says that the judge extended her probation for another year so that she could finally complete Booze Ed 101. The judge said she’s “rooting for” Blohan and hopes she can do what she’s supposed to do.
It’s a good thing she’s Lindsay Lohan, and not one of us. Because if this one of us, we’d be biting on a bar of soap right now while getting tag-teamed in the prison community shower stall. Actually, that sounds like one of my recurring dreams. If I was her, I’d go with that option as long as they gave me plenty of double-layer condoms, lube and Visine to get the red out of my asshole.