It’s like one of Paris Hilton’s labia lumps come to life and starring in a revue as a California Raisin. WHY!!!!?!!!?!!!! This dude has a zillion videos on his YouTube account that are just like this. Don’t click over there unless you want to enter a world where the ocean is made of your own vomit and the sky is the color of your bloody tears. Before watching this mess, hold your tongue down with a Popsicle stick, because you might bite it off.
How will I close my eyes tonight?! Even piles of Ambien won’t help me escape the image of this raisinhead convulsing like Gene Simmons’ tongue during cunnilingus. Speaking of Gene Simmons, here’s another one for you to file away in the folder marked DARK-SIDEDNESS.