The Latest Chapter In The Sad Gayelle Diaries

October 13, 2009 / Posted by:

SamRo has basically closed her eyes, ears, fingers and mouth to Lindsay Lohan, so what’s a pill-pooping (typo and it stays) crazy to do? LiLo had no choice but to hop on her Twitter to cry about how SamRo’s family is pussy-blocking her and stealing her shine. Or something.

Lilo, who is a graduate of Courtney Love’s School of Incoherent Tweets, needs to stop freebasing an entire bottle of NyQuil while Tweeting. I mean, calling SamRo “brilliant“? My 6-year-old cousin will go to sleep with a smile tonight when I tell him that the ho from Herbie: Fully Loaded thinks he’s brilliant, because he also knows how to make a playlist on iTunes.

You know what LiLo needs in her life?! Yes, she needs a mother whose idea of breakfast isn’t a bowl of Adderall and Red Bull. But she also needs a party-crashing deer in her life. Seriously, look at this party-crashing deer from Michigan:

Every time LiLo tries to take her crack antics to Twitter, a deer needs to jump into the room to stop her. SIGN HER OFF, party-crashing deer!

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