But How Is Jon Going To Pay His Fancy Lil’ Lawyer?

October 13, 2009 / Posted by:

A Pennyslvania judge has demanded that Ed Hardy’s down-low lover Jon Grosselin has to return $180,000 of the $230,000 he snatched from his joint checking account with Kate Gosselin. An arbitrator will determine what happens to the remaining $55,000.

Jon has until October 26th to pay up or he has to face the judge again for contempt. I’m sure the judge will punish Jon by making him sleep without his Ed Hardy pillow person.

Kate issued this statement to TMZ: “As difficult as this has been for me, I am pleased that the Court has ruled fairly on behalf of myself and my children. Now that this matter has been ruled on, I look forward to returning to private arbitration, as we have agreed to do, to resolve any remaining issues.”

As much as it pleases my soul to know that Kate’s rabid possum will get to eat live mice again, I’m a little concerned. How is Jon going to pay his fancy lil’ lawyer now? If Jon can’t pay his fancy lil’ lawyer, how is his fancy lil’ lawyer going to maintain his fanciness? No more fancy hair plugs. No more fancy fake tanning. No more fancy Louis Vuitton business woman purses. No more fancy lil’ boy suits from Brooks Brothers. No more fancy lifts. And no more fancy 14k gold thongs (you know he wears that shit). Insert fancy sad face here.

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