In case you haven’t heard from the crazed screaming tweens (and pedos) running down your block with tears in their eyes and blood on their wrists, Miley Cyrus left Twitter. Yes, this is a devastating blow to the spirit of this country, but we must move on as a people! However, Billy Ray Cyrus didn’t take it so well. Right after his daughter signed off for good, he jumped on his Twatter and begged her to come back. This shit will give you the achy-breaky barfs.
Maybe the Twitter executives promised Billy Ray a lifetime supply of peroxide and highlight caps if he brought Miley back. Or maybe Billy Ray just doesn’t know how he’s going to spend his nights now that Miley is no longer Tweeting webcam pictures of herself and her friends. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
But Billy Ray now understands why Miley made the OMGWTF important decision to dump her Twatter thanks to this rap video she made. I’m too old for this video. Actually, we’re all too old for this shit. WARNING: This might make you want to bust into a “Goodbye Internet” rap.
Didn’t Miley learn anything from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie? Chipmunks should never ever rap.