War At The Twins’ Birthday Party

Today is the Gosselin twins’ 9th birthday party, and Jon Gosselin tells Entertainment Tonight that it could turn into World War III. The battle between the rabid possum and the corroded ass wart will be caught on film, because Jon is bringing the ET camera crew to the party. These assholes make OctoCrazy (remember her?) look like the perfect picture of sanity and health. Hopefully, Jon or Kate gave their girls a never-ending prescription of Valium, because those kids are going to need it.

Jon whined that Kate wouldn’t allow him to come to the party, but he insisted on it, “She’s basically saying it would be too stressful to the kids to have both of us here, like we originally planned. I’m just going to stay! I own the house, so I can do what I want. She’s trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday because she doesn’t want to see me. She doesn’t want to hear my apology. She doesn’t want to work things out.”

When Jon & Kate filed for divorce did they also file for divorce from acting like adults? FUCK! Jon is acting like a toddler who went poopy in his panties and doesn’t know what to do about it. Just suck it up. Pretending to like someone is not hard. I do it on a daily basis. When you’re in their presence, just picture yourself slowly strangling them. It will make you smile, and then they will smile seeing you smile. It’s not hard!

And when is Nancy Grace going to eat both of them already?! In case you missed it, here’s Nancy going after Jon (round 2) on The Insider. By the way, those aren’t CZs in Jon’s ears. They are Christian Audigier’s kidney stones.

Here’s Jon picking up the girls’ birthday cake in NYC before driving to Pennsylvania. SPOILER ALERT: He ate the cake in the car.