Who says that almost losing your finger every time you stick it in Vadge’s Venus Fly Snatch doesn’t pay off?! The Sun says that Madonna wants her child near her at all times, but she isn’t ready to set up a nursery for him in her house, so she’s buying him a shiny new crib of his very own! Apparently, Vadge has sent out her real estate slaves to find her kept child an apartment within walking distance to her own cougar den on the Upper East Side in Manhattan.
Some source who seems to know all about the situation said, “She’s told them to spend no more than £1.7million and the pad has to be within walking distance of her townhouse. She is financing everything but Jesus will own it once it’s found and bought. She really wasn’t kidding when she told him he’ll never have to worry about money from now on.”
Baby Jesus’ dick really does do miracles, because he’s managed to turn Vadge’s lady jizz into cash! We all have to start respecting Baby Jesus as one of the major players in the gold digging game.