From The Douche Diaries: Jon Cleans Out The Joint Bank Account

October 4, 2009 / Posted by:

Yesterday, my cousin was telling me how she caught her son snatching $10 out of her wallet in the middle of the night. Well, if her son was Jon Gosselin, he would’ve taken the whole damn wallet and left her with a piece of old gum. That’s basically what he did to Kate. Radar reports that on the same day that Jon was telling Larry King that he wanted to play nice with Kate, he secretly took a shovel and pretty much emptied their joint bank account. Apparently, Jon rolled away with $200,000, leaving Kate with $1,000. How in the rhinestone tiger hell is Kate’s possum supposed to survive on just a grand?! MAN DOWN CODE 10!

Can you imagine the sound Kate’s possum made when she checked her balance? The day the ear drums died.

TMZ says that Kate’s lawyers will go to court tomorrow to argue that Jon totally gave a “fuck you” to an existing order which states that they could not withdraw money from that account without each other’s permission. They want a judge to demand that Jon return the money and that he be held in contempt. Kate uses that account to pay for household expenses, so it looks like the child army WILL STARVE!

Part of me is disappointed in Kate, because I would have thought that she would’ve emptied that account out as soon as Jon started passing his peen around. She’s not the mega cuntress I thought she was.

When Jon started wearing that Ed Hardy shit, she should’ve taken all the cash and left him with a McDonald’s coupon book. You can’t trust a ho as soon as they start covering their body parts with that Ed Hardy fuckery.

This is exactly why I live by the motto: My money is my money and your money is OUR money.

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