Kate Gosselin isn’t going to let a maxi-pad in Ed Hardy rags get in the way of money pouring into her checking account each week. After Jon had a tantrum in the form of a letter to TLC telling them to stop shooting his kids or he’ll devour them whole (he will), Kate made her pet possum transcribe her own statement. While reading Kate’s statement, picture an angry possum typing away at an old timey typewriter. It’ll make it a lot more entertaining:
“I’m saddened and confused by Jon’s public media statements. Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children and was taping on Friday with the kids.”
“I check in regularly with each of the kids to be sure they want to participate in and continue with the show and will continue to do so. I do the show for my family because I believe it provides us opportunities we wouldn’t otherwise have. Jon used to share that belief until as recently as the day the network announced the name change of the show and indicated that Jon would have a lesser role in the show. It appears that Jon’s priority is Jon and his interests. My priority remains our children and their well-being.”
A simple “FUCK OFF JON” would’ve achieved the same effect and had less wear and tear on the poor possum’s paws.
And by “check in regularly with each of the kids,” she means that she denies them water until they tap and smile for the cameras! Sing louder, child army! Mama’s got a possum to feed!