Because “Johnathon” Gosselin Says So!

October 1, 2009 / Posted by:

If Jon Grosselin isn’t allowed to whore himself out for a dollar, neither can any members of his child army! Jon Gosselin put on his big boy pants and farted off a letter to TLC demanding that they stop production on Jon & Kate Plus Eight. This comes after TLC demoted Jon to a special guest star on the newly named Kate Plus Eight. Now that Jon isn’t bringing in the bacon (hmmm…bacon) for himself, he has suddenly decided that the show is fucking with his kids’ lives. Yeah, now he cares. This is what Jon’s lawyer wrote to TLC:

Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon’s family home for any reason. In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers.”

Jon’s lawyer added that weeks before TLC pretty much dumped him, he had been in talks with the network to stop the show completely. Jon says that he co-owns the property they shoot the show and he has joint custody of the child army, so he gets to make decisions about their welfare. Jon’s lawyer told Entertainment Tonight, “Jon realized his family was like a trainwreck, so he decided to put the brakes on the divorce and on the show … because if he didn’t the family would be in a mortal accident … the victims of a trainwreck.”

TLC had no comment, but Kate Gosselin’s possum head must be foaming like Parasite Hilton’s vagina after a pap smear, because Jon is screwing with HER MONEY! If you’re in Pennsylvania, you better stay inside, because the possums will be out for BLOOD. Specifically, the blood from Jon’s ballsack.

By the way, it’s spelled “PEENELTY” not “PENELTY.” They forgot the E in the sign above.

UPDATE: TLC is stopping production for now, but they are totally grossed about by Jon’s accusations! They issued this statement: “We are aware of Jon Gosselin’s recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic. Despite Jon Gosselin’s repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents.”

And here’s Jon caring for the welfare of his children by partying it up in Beverly Hills last night.

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