Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Jimmy Kimmel…..On Tape?

September 30, 2009 / Posted by:

You might have been wondering why your stomach is growling more than usual this morning. No, it wasn’t the bad jizz you ate last night. It was your stomach sensing that it’s about to go through some serious shit, because reportedly a Sarah Silverman/Jimmy Kimmel sex tape is about hit the internet. Yeah, you probably won’t hear from your genitals for a few days. They aren’t going to come out until it’s safe.

Zack Taylor (via ONTD) says that some source sent him a few screen shots that are supposedly of Jimmy Kimmel giving it to Sarah Silverman missionary-style (BORING!). Apparently, the 15-minute tape that was shot a few years ago is being shopped around. The source added that Sarah and Jimmy bumped tittays on tape while on vacation at some resort. When they left, they forgot to take the camera with them and a resort employee got their hands on it. That’s the story.

Based on the screen shots alone, that could be absolutely anybody or anything. It could be Guillermo, it could be Jon Grosselin, it could be Kate Gosselin’s possum head, it could be Khloe Kardashian without her weave on or it could be my Uncle Werner after getting his back waxed.

Let’s just pretend this post never happened. I mean, porn isn’t supposed to make your fuck parts sad.

UPDATE: A rep for both Jimmy and Sarah says it isn’t them in the sex tape. Wait, so maybe it is my Uncle Werner after all!

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